Couples Counseling

I’m so glad you have decided to be intentional about trying to repair one of the most important relationships of your life! Marriage can be so rewarding but it can also be one of the few relationships where the worst version of us is on full display. Because the relationship is so intimate and tender, we can easily create suffering for our partner unintentionally and perhaps in some moments, even on purpose. Because of past and present hurts, it's easy to feel resentful towards our partner which can make us question if full healing is even possible. For couples counseling to be most effective, both partners need to be committed to the process of change. Sometimes, partners enter counseling unsure of their commitment to the relationship, and that’s both OK and understandable.

I usually use two approaches to couples counseling: the Gottman Method and Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy. If you are interested in understanding them more, please Google or use ChatGPT. Both are researched based approaches and there is significant overlap between them. In general, the goals of both approaches are to change how issues are discussed and experienced by both partners, increase the ratio of positive to negative interactions, rekindle the love and romance that once was present in the relationship, heal wounds, change what is changeable, accept and appreciate each other’s differences, and take an interest in your partner’s dreams and goals.

A word about health insurance: Health insurance typically does not cover marital or couples counseling unless the sessions are considered medically necessary-meaning one partner has a diagnosed mental health condition (such as depression or anxiety) and couples therapy is part of the treatment plan for that condition. Otherwise, most insurance plans view marriage counseling as a relationship-focused service, not as a medical necessity. However, most Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) will pay for couples counseling without a mental health diagnosis. The downside is that they usually limit care to 4-6 visits a year. If you’re not sure if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program, check with your HR department-you might be surprised!

Like health insurance, you generally can’t use HSA funds for marriage or couples counseling if the purpose is solely to improve your relationship and not treat a diagnosed mental health condition.

If one partner has a diagnosed mental health condition, please check with your insurance plan to verify they cover “CPT code 90847 (family therapy with the patient present)”. When we do couples counseling and one partner has a diagnosed mental health condition, he/she is considered the “client” (instead of the couple) and the assessment, treatment plan, and progress notes are developed and written with that individual in mind.

Due to the factors I’ve described above, I generally only accept fee-for-service (self-pay) for couples counseling at $100/hr. However, I’m willing to work with insurance if, after conducting my own assessment, I feel that one partner meets criteria for a diagnosed mental health condition. I’m also approved with some EAP plans, as listed on my Psychology Today profile.